As someone who, typically, is a “femme4femme” type, I find this interesting, particularly the “am I cute ENOUGH” question. For me, a lot of these fears boil down to “Am I worthy (at all)?”, combined with “Am I worthy if I don’t/can’t XYZ” – where XYZ can be bottoming or topping “effectively” (I’ll talk about that later, I think), but it can also be “make dinner tonight” or “do the house work” or “help with The Thing” or whatever. All that stuff about “can I Femme Skillz *enough* for you to still want me without – and here’s the femme4femme twist on this – without Femme Skillz-ing *too much* and overshadowing the brilliant sparkle of someone I love and don’t want to hurt/make-feel-threatened?” It kind of broke my heart.

Clementine Morrigan

I’ve done a lot of thinking and praying and struggling and writing and reflecting and work on jealousy. I kind of just want to write jealousyjealousyjealousy all over everything, all over my face. I’m sick of pretending that I don’t feel this or even that I’m some wise spiritual person who knows how to surrender to it and be transformed. Jealousy is one of my biggest issues. I’ve learned a lot from and about my jealousy but it still causes me a lot of pain.

Some context: my partner and I started our relationship poly but have been seeing only each other for almost a year. We closed our relationship because I was having a mental breakdown from my jealousy. I have had a lot of shame about this and feeling like a poly failure or whatever. But a lot of my soul searching since closing the relationship led me…

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