As someone who, typically, is a “femme4femme” type, I find this interesting, particularly the “am I cute ENOUGH” question. For me, a lot of these fears boil down to “Am I worthy (at all)?”, combined with “Am I worthy if I don’t/can’t XYZ” – where XYZ can be bottoming or topping “effectively” (I’ll talk about that later, I think), but it can also be “make dinner tonight” or “do the house work” or “help with The Thing” or whatever. All that stuff about “can I Femme Skillz *enough* for you to still want me without – and here’s the femme4femme twist on this – without Femme Skillz-ing *too much* and overshadowing the brilliant sparkle of someone I love and don’t want to hurt/make-feel-threatened?” It kind of broke my heart.