Most of you reading this are probably familiar with Y, the anthology of essays on concent culture and a dreamed of, worked-towards, world without rape.
Maybe you think that’s what the “yes” in my subject-heading is about.
…Not exactly.
My “Y is for Yes” is actually a reference to enthusiasm on a somewhat broader scale.
I tend to approach New Experiences (and new challenges) with a heel-dragging, teeth-gnashing, trepidation; always on the look-out for what could go wrong. While this is, perhaps, a wise way to go when hauling out the soap-making supplies, it’s maybe not the best choice of approach when dealing with interpersonal relationships.
So what to do?
The Poly 101 stuff – particularly when it’s being directed at pre-existing formerly-monogamous couples looking at Opening Up – tends to suggest that, rather than coming to any theoretical coffee shop table with a mental list of what you want in a date, come instead with a list of what you can offer, of why dating you would be awesome.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding that, but I think that’s what they say.
I think this is similar to that. To approach something with hope and a willingness to see where things go, rather than with a weird kind of pass/fail mentality that assumes your first slip-up or sign of vulnerability will lead to an avalanch of cruelty, advantage-taking (or mile-taking?) and no way back to safety or solid ground.
So this is me, taking another step, committing (again) to “Yes”, to hope and willing and seeing where things go.
Wish me luck. 🙂
Ms Syren.