So, having read the Slate article sumarizing the IOC’s agreement with Russia’s human rights crimes & homophobic laws (er… this post of mine is not about that, so you might want to take a minute to follow the link and then come back) I then read another Slate article.
Which pissed me off.
I know. Big surprise.
 
Anyway. The general gyst was that Marraige (not weddings, MARRIAGE – as in: a long-term, expected to be permanent, romantic relationship) was becoming an expensive luxury that working class people can no-longer afford.
 
The article was gross.
 
I mean, it’s not news that financial stress is a major contributor to the breakdown of romantic relationships, but that’s the case regardless of social/economic class.
A more nuanced approach to the topic might have talked about that stress; but it might also have touched the way that long hours at exhausting and unfulfilling work can leave one without the time and energy (never mind money) for “self enrichment”, or how “me time” is that much harder to come by when one is crammed into a smaller-than-adequate home.
But no.
This article opted against the nuanced route. It was hell-bent on (a) suggesting that the way you maintain your relationships is to throw money at them[1], and – significantly worse – (b) insinuating that intimate partner abuse is a class-based thing.
Seriously, Slate?
Even Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman took that bullshit apart.
 
Let me get into this a little.
 
The article featured two “case samples”: (a) a mother and daughter who were working class, poor, and both divorced from violent partners; and (b) an extremely wealthy married couple who supported each others’ independent personal development.
 
The last line of the article reads:

For working-class Americans, personal stability sometimes requires staying single and avoiding the risk of abuse, abandonment, and even more economic and emotional disruption.
(Emphasis mine).

 
See what they did there?
 
It’s not that there isn’t a link between intimate partner violence and poverty. There absolutely is. But heaven forefend that we talk about it in a way that goes into why and how that link exists and manifests, rather than presuming to imply that poor and working class people can’t have nice things lasting partnerships, by stating that it takes cash (“middle-class Americans have the money to build relationships, yet remain satisfied as individuals”) rather than creativity, trust, communication, self-understanding, and a willingness to get vulnerable with each other, to build and maintain healthy, happy relationships.
 
Grow Up, Slate. I’m Unimpressed. >:-(
 
 
Cheers,
Ms Syren.
 
 
[1] And I don’t mean “investing in marriage counseling” which – even though it’s typically priced way the hell out of range when someone is working for minimum – is actually a useful and wise thing to do (before things get ugly) if it’s something you can afford (I say, as a firm believer in Therapy For All).
I mean “let’s buy our rambunctious, teenaged daughter a pony and send her out of sight, out of mind away to boarding school in order to manage the way she’s Acting Out”.