So, Aggie over at SoloPoly, is writing a book about relationship configurations that fall outside of what she calls the escalator model of relationships.
To that end, she’s conducting a survey (available here) asking people to share their stories about engaging in non-traditional/non-normative relationships.
It was awesome.
It took me, like, four hours to go through it. Although, in all honestly, you can breeze through it in 3-5 minutes if you’re so inclined (I just like doing things essay-style, apparently). So if, oh readers, if you feel like that survey might be right up your alley, do click the link and fill it out. 🙂
All promotion aside, I also wanted to say that I like Aggie’s definition of “primary partner” – measuring “primariness” based on the sharing of finances and living arrangements, rather than on some Thing about who loves whom more. As the “primary partner” of someone who actually doesn’t do hierarchies and who has multiple, dearly-held partners, I appreciate the way this definition acknowledges reality that, say, her changing living arrangements or careers would affect me in some pretty siginificant ways that just wouldn’t apply for her other partners. I appreciate that it does this without also implying that she loves, say, her NPPP any less than she loves me.
It’s a help, I don’t mind telling you.
Anyway. There’s a lot more to delve into here, but I think it’s time for me to step quietly away from the computer and go take a nice, hot, relaxing bath.
Ms. Syren.