When I hear the phrase “go deep” in the context of D/s, it’s pretty-much always being used to describe something that a submissive – rather than a dominant – experiences: The intensification of devotion and obedience to the dominant, the acceptance (and welcoming) of further restrictions or responsibilities from them. But what does it mean for a dominant to “go deep”?

For me, right now, “going deeper” means getting myself to a point where expressing what I want as instructions, and expecting those instructions to be followed with alacrity, becomes second nature. And that’s definitely a start. Eventually – in theory – I’ll get to a point where “what I want” moves from simple stuff that takes an hour or an evening to more complex things like having my Ghost learn specific skills or turn over specific freedoms.

My Ghost calls this “freedom to shape” – to make of her what I want her to be. I know I’m not there yet. Right now I’m trying to find the balance between getting what I want (by voicing it, by expecting it) and making sure she has enough space to do the non-me-related[1] things that are such an important part of her life. Eventually I’ll find that balance, though, and then who knows what I’ll do. 😉

Ms Syren.

[1] These are, by and large, the chance to spend time and energy and attention on her Other People, but also include some of her outdoorsy fun stuff, so.